The Turnip News Network

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The Turnip is a satire news site made by our glorious overlord BombCraft, who decided on October 15, 2023 to make a parody of The Onion.
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WARNING: Some stories contain sensitive topics, usually the death of other people. Read those stories at your own risk. DISCLAIMER: This is a satire news website. Any unintentional resemblance to actual events or real people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

5 articles have been made so far


List of The Turnip articles


  • Latest article
  • Florida Man Finds Rito Fossil, Uses it to Kill Neighbor (October 15, 2023)
  • Geometry Dash developer Robert Topala leaks plans to release major update in November, one month later than anticipated (October 16, 2023)
  • Newswriters for The Onion Quit En Masse Following the Launch of The Turnip (October 19, 2023)
  • Ohio boy murders classmate over Skibidi Toilet (October 23, 2023)
  • Florida man in shock as all of his positions are replaced with exact replicas (December 11, 2023)